See, told you I’d call.

I said I’d call the next day, but what date actually keeps their word.  You forgive me, right?  I had great intentions of writing yesterday but the hubs is traveling around on business and I’m tagging along.  So with early check out times, driving to a new city and late check in times I haven’t had much access to the great world wide web. Yep, I’m a nomad.

So, while I gave you pictures of everything under the sun during our first date, I realized I never actually gave you a picture of ME.  What is this, DATING IN THE DARK?

Here’s a picture from our wedding.  I’m the one in the dress.

And our Christmas card.

Is that good?

Hubs recently told me he photoshopped out Brady’s scar from when he had surgery on his leg.  Of course Brady was pissed because now all of the other dogs aren’t aware of just how badass he is.  So for the sake of Brady’s reputation, a picture of his scar.

Badass, I KNOW.

A couple of days ago I had the pleasure of catching up with a good friend Bree.  We had worked at the dating company together and we reminisced about some of the funnier clients over lunch.  Then she forced me to buy purple nail polish, but I digress.

This is one of those stories:

This story is about a man named Ronald.  I of course changed his name for his privacy, but if you’re out there Ronald you know this story is about you.  So Ronald lived on Long Island and would only go to one restaurant.  Living on the island made him immediately harder to match make since all of our clients were in MANHATTAN.  Hello, it’s a New York City dating service.  Anyways, so Ronald has one strike for location.  Then he would only date Christians, which we of course had mainly Jewish women on Long Island.  Strike two.  Finally he was a science teacher and let’s just say I’m not talking about the cool science teacher that you had a crush on.  He was king of the nerds.  Strike three.  (Not that I don’t love nerds.  Love you, hubs!)

So we had managed to set up Ronald with a Christian women, on Long Island and she agreed to go to the only restuarant that Ronald deemed acceptable.

The next day I get a call from the woman, let’s call her Angie.  Angie calls and tells me that Ronald was half hour late and that when he got there he smelled horrible.  She also said he informed her that his extreme diarrhea was to blame for his tardiness.  The rest of the date he spent scurrying in and out of the restroom.

Later that afternoon I get a call from Ronald, who continues to go into great detail about his diarrhea.  Apparently he had gotten it all over himself, and instead of cancelling the date he found a bottle of cologne in his car and continued to cover up the smell of poo with the smell of cheap cologne.  Now, I understand that honesty is key to success in a relationship, but shouldn’t some things wait until the third date.  Or how about just KEEP THAT TO YOURSELF.  He even had the nerve to ask me to call her and apologize and see if she was interested on a second date.  I think she’s washing her hair and can’t make it.  Sorry.

Too bad this dating agency went out of business, or I’m sure you’d all be lining up for dates.

Speak Your Mind