No books for you.

My friend Kelly has started calling the rugrats Phil and Lil, which I think is so funny because who remembers Phil and Lil?  It’s all about Angelica and Tommy. 

Anyways, I get an email while the rugrats and I are out running errands saying that two books that Phil put on hold at the library are now available and are being held at the front desk for him.

I tell him and he’s all, “Can we go get them?  Please please please!”

A kid getting excited about a book?  Now that’s something that I can get behind.

Now, you may remember that a few months back i made them these Library Bags, complete with pocket to hold their very own library cards.  And the idea has worked out perfectly.  We always know where their library cards are, and we always know where their books are. 

So of course while we’re out running errands Phil and Lil haven’t brought their bags.  No biggie, I’ve forgotten my library card a number of times.

We go out of our way to get to the library and head inside where Phil is just about to explode he’s so happy.  Get up to the front desk and tell the librarian we’re here to pick up Phil’s books that he’s reserved but we don’t have his library card.

Well, does he have any ID?

He’s in elementary school.  No.

Well some schools give out IDs.

Well his doesn’t, and if they did he most likely wouldn’t carry it around in his wallet full of hundred dollar bills DURING THE SUMMER.  You know, like most kids.

So she’s all, “Are you his mother?”

No, but I’m his nanny and I’m the one who brought him here to sign him up for his account, my email is the one that’s linked to the account.  Can’t you just look up his account and see my email on it, and then verify with MY ID?

No.  Do you have anything else that may have his name on it?

Rifle through purse.  No.  How about this email I got from the library saying that his book was in?

No, that doesn’t prove that this is him.

Oh, what about the fact that he has his 16 digit library card number memorized!  How about that?


At this point I’m starting to get angry.  Are you really going to deny a kid A FREAKING LIBRARY BOOK?  Didn’t you take some kind of librarian vow about that?

So I lean over the front desk and whisper, “Please, this is a special needs child and he just wants his library book.”

Well then, next time remember your library card.

I turn to Phil and say, “Phil, the librarian won’t let you have your book.  Let’s go.”  At this point Phil loses it and starts screaming bloody murder in the middle of the library.  And I said calmly, “I know Phil, I know.” 

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